I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
