i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
