WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
