it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
