I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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