Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize