I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
