we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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