we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
