Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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