im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
