i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
