i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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