We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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