Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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