One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
high people should be assigned attendants
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
