i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
