Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
