doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
