i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
