I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
