stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
