he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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