Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
