Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize