Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
