Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
