Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
