I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I know her cup size but not her name....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
