God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
