at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I believe in your delicious
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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