I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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