It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
