that's an acceptable place to lick
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
