dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
