My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
