he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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