even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
