So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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