I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
