why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
