he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize