i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
