its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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