he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
