Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize