Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
