I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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