Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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