He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize