Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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