the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
