There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
