I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
