someone owes me an orgasm
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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