My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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