We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so let's talk penis.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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