I am in a vortex of obligation.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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