I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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