is your mom at the bar?
Pappa wants mamma naked
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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