he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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