So drunk its hurt
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
