Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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